We must Learn How to Wait Again

We must Learn How to Wait Again

Erreh Svaia

Caprine Dispersion

“The two most powerful warriors are patience and time”

Leo Tolstoy

The Stanford Marshmallow Experiment was a group of behavioral tests led by the psychologist Walter Mischel in the 60s, Mischel, then a professor at Stanford University was intrigued by how self-control developed among children and how the development and use of this particular skill influenced their adult life, for example, an individual with his desires under control could work for a certain amount of time in order to save money to buy a car, whereas a guy without this skill would perhaps end up stealing a car, or stealing money to buy it, not being able to resist the temptation of immediately having one, think also about alcohol consumption or drug addiction being also influenced by this conduct, one of the basis of society and of order is this capacity to wait, patience is basic on negotiations, otherwise, we will end up in war, chaos and with an unstable and very violent society (Trump should learn about this).

The experiment consisted in testing the level self-control an individual can execute when a gratification is promised and delayed, a group of small children (boys and girls) from 3 to 5 years old were placed on an empty room with no distractions, left alone and after a marshmallow was offered to them, but they have to wait 15 minutes in order to get the candy, those who resisted the temptation moved on to another similar test and obviously, more candy, the same individuals were traced through their lives and the conclusions were that those who better resisted temptations were more successful (better SAT scores for example) and competent as adults, as a kid I was told about the virtue of patience (”great things to those who wait” I read somewhere in a book), about learning to wait, later as a teenager I was as engaged with bodybuilding (and activity that demands heavy work, patience and will)  and learned how muscles grow and how karate practitioners managed to brake big logs in two (after years of practice), bones and muscles were subject to intense work in order to get a dramatic response from the body, bigger muscles and stronger bones, and thanks to Stephen Covey, I learned that patience worked just like a muscle, you have to apply pressure in order to strengthen it, results don’t come easy, it takes TIME.

I have read several studies about Millenials, some even calling them a “lost hopeless generation”, guys who won't have a very bright future, and Millenials keep asking themselves what's wrong with them? The answer is really hard to tell, it certainly demands a bigger and deeper study, but what worries me the most is what will happen to newer generations with the kind of experiences we are feeding them these days, today Amazon can deliver a book to your house in 24 hours or less, as a teenager I had to wait two weeks for a back catalog book or particular CD at a books store or at a music shop,  you can find and watch your favorite musical video in a couple of minutes on Youtube, while as a kid I waited patiently for a weekend video TV show, today on Spotify you can hear your favorite songs, when I was a kid I had to wait for the radio DJ to play one of my favorite songs, even call him to ask for him to play it, when my uncle went to work to Bolivia in South America, his letters delayed weeks to arrive and give me the news about how life was in Bolivia, today e-mails arrive in a matter of seconds, with Twitter I can hear a singer or an actor opinions in real time, I don't need to wait for tomorrow's newspaper, with Facebook I can see how my friends vacations went on, I don't need to wait for him to come back and show me the pics, with Whatsapp I don't have to call you on the phone and hope you are home or available to pick up the phone (I don´t even care if you are busy, and if you read my message I expect a quick answer), even think about Netflix, you don't have to wait for next week or even for tomorrow for the next chapter of your favorite TV Series or Soap Opera, without that patience training from years ago, think about Waze or Google Maps, these days you are not able to drive home without that thing, you can find a place without that voice telling you left or right, do you remember how to read a map? What is going to happen to the next generations? will they be able to wait for gratification? Will they develop that important self-control as a skill? Perhaps that is one of the reasons why Millenials can't last on their jobs, can't save money for a house, can't raise a child… What dramatic results will deliver to us a new actualization on the Stanford experiment, have we forgotten about virtue of patience and the art of waiting? Can this explain today´s casual sex, teenage pregnancy, express divorces, fast food, obesity, diabetes...Can this also explain our deception towards democracy? Democracy moves slow, can this explain the rise of populism nowadays? Can this explain when someone declares to prefer revolution instead of evolution (reforms)? That´s why illiberal governments are winning, because dictators take fastest (and worst) decisions instead of the slow evolving democratic consesus?